When you like someone, or you have already begun to meet with this person, it may happen that often happens with millions of women around the world: you become too attached to his new passion. And at first, it is not bad: You are the light inside the surrounding notices that with you that something happened (exceptionally good, of course), you have a lot of strength and energy, you are ready for new challenges. And most importantly, you are willing to spend their time and energy on someone who you care about: you know each other, establish contacts, to resolve their conflicts first. But now and then may happen what should not happen, but the main thing is that men do not want - you are in my dreams and thoughts go far ahead of his partner and from reality. You try on his name, make plans for the future, planning a wedding. And the main thing all the time just thinking about it, and gradually it becomes addiction.
But you sincerely believe that such thoughts can not hurt your relationship - he does not know what you think about it constantly. Right? - No.
Because unbeknownst to you, as well as the consciousness of others changing your behavior. However, on a subconscious level, all these changes are subtle.
What is changing? Your aura. Or, to put it simply, the subconscious behavior. It appears that what a man does not want to see: whiny opinion (shouting: "Well, when you have made me an offer!"), Controlling tone in his voice ("I was so worried! Where have you been?" - And this question will tell him that he must report to you), possessive behavior ("This is my man"), although he for such an eventuality may be not ready. In addition, the constant thought of it deprive you of opportunities to think about something else, and thus deprive you of the attractiveness of the individual in his eyes. If you've been spending your free time on hobbies and interests, and then shared their impressions of the day we live with a loved one, now you do not know what to do with himself if he suddenly delayed at work or traveling on a business trip. In the end, it turns out that when he comes back, you really have nothing to tell him. But precisely because of your personality and he loved you once! For your hobbies, your independence, open view of the world, for your open-mindedness. And what now? Now you are ready to dissolve in it and do not see anything wrong in his behavior - it seems so logical to you, so the only correct. And he wants something else. What?
He wants to see next to a man, and not his own reflection. He needs a companion, need someone who is not ashamed to be not only to present to friends and colleagues, but also to leave them alone. In short he needed half that it will complement, rather than duplicates.
In addition, you lose not only your personality, but also reduce your own self-esteem. How Come? Because of the self-independent woman you become a nervous being absolutely dependent on whether this man with you or not. And believe me - it is a wonderful feeling, because low self-esteem is evident not only in the fact that you feel, but how you behave: changes and your gait and your mind and your posture. And therefore, you become less attractive in the eyes of the man she loved.
But to force myself not to think about the man as difficult as to force myself not to think about the white monkey, however, for other reasons - it is not just the person about whom you are trying to reflect the smaller is the one you love, the actions of which depends on your mental well-being .
How can remove unnecessary stress in your relationship and protect your psyche?
Well, firstly, if your relationship is not yet serious enough (or maybe they do not yet, maybe you're just in love but are not willing to admit it), then you should not limit their circle of acquaintances.Meet with other menEven just as a friend. And do not limit your range of interests, do not lose yourself in a relationship, do not dissolve in your favorite, but still a completely different person.
When we encountered a man who we like, and it seems can make a perfect pair for life, nasty voice inside begins to show signs of life, reminding us that we are not good enough for him, that we are not worthy of his attention, not only but happiness in principle. This additional source of thoughts about the man: how do I behave to fit his idea of the perfect woman, what to say, what to wear, and why he looked at me askance at the previous date. Firstly, it is likely that this man tormented myself the same doubts in your account (it belly, short legs, slim wallet - many disadvantages, in one word). And secondly, if you end up still find that you really are not a couple, it does not mean that you are too bad for him. It only means that
somewhere in the world is more suitable for you people.